HSCA: "Latest News! Conspiracy Theorists Within US Government Conclude Kennedy Shot as Result of Conspiracy!", 1976 -1979.

Hot off the press! Conspiracy theorists working at the highest levels of the US Government say they believe President John F. Kennedy was shot as the result of a conspiracy. In an amazing admission of tin-foil-hat wearing hysteria, they state:

"The Committee believes, on the basis of the evidence available to it, that President John F. Kennedy was probably assassinated as a result of a conspiracy." *

Not content with this level of irrationality, the committee also concludes:

"The committee conducted a three-pronged investigation of conspiracy in the Kennedy assassination. On the basis of extensive scientific analysis and an analysis of the testimony of Dealey Plaza witnesses, the committee found there was a high probability that two gunmen fired at President Kennedy." *

What next? While it's a relief that the Committee didn't go down the route of blaming the Secret Service, FBI or CIA - each one a favourite target for conspiracy theorist paranoia - one cannot help wonder what they'll come out with next! Perhaps their second gunman will turn our to be Buddy Holly! Or the Yeti on a sightseeing trip from the Himalayas! Only time will tell.